Alexandra’s blog

I ordered calling cards, just inexpensive ones, but I like them pretty much. I DO NOT want to work at an old people's home this summer, and since I'm holding this evening class (hopefully) this spring I though it could be good to have some. I don't like when you are somewhere and someone is writing their e-mail address on a piece of paper or on a white board, because those pieces of paper always end up somewhere in between some books, or in my pocket, or somewhere else where I can't find them. But that is typically me, haha!

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I went to my mom yesterday, while I was waiting for something, I can't remember what, I had a look in a magazine "Drömhem & Trädgård" and found a couple of pages with DIY stuff. They had made Christmas ornaments, and there were a few I liked and decided to have a try on making some. The paper roses in the magazine was pink and purple, but I like white, so of course I made white ones, with "pearls" and different kinds of beads. I will post a photo when I have hung them in the Christmas tree (I will probably get one next weekend). When I came home I made some Christmas cards, just did something, but I think they turned out pretty good, except from that they look a little bit like those you send when you want to invite people to your wedding..:) 

I just have one problem, maybe someone can help me with this. What do you write on/in the cards? Merry Christmas - Happy New Year sounds so boring, and blessings and stuff is nothing I usually would say so I definitely don't want to write that..I guess you could write some kind of poem, but that feels really weird.. I guess I have to come up with something. I really enjoy sending and recieving post cards.

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I can't decide if I like movies with abrupt ends or not, It always make you think 10 000 thoughts you never would have though if you hadn't seen the movie, but at the same time it's really annoying to never know the "real" end. This movie is one of them. It has a gray tone over it, the only character that I liked was the  (I can't remember names) main character's neighbor. .

Neighbor

Here he is to the left. The story is that the main character recieves a letter from an old lover, at this point his present wife leaves him. His neighbor wants to help him find this woman who has sent him this letter, because in it she wrote that her(his) son is on a trip trying to find his biological father. This she tells him so he can be prepared if someone knocks on his door. Since he had several lovers he (his neighbour decides) decides to travel around the country to visit each and everyone of them, give them a bunch of flowers and have a look in their homes to see if they have a photo or any other sign that they have a son.

Flowers

The photo below is from one of his visits. I found it very amusing when you could see what they ate. Food so ala 1987 or something like that.. Some kind of light beige meat-square, with those kind of carrots that have a zig-zag pattern or whatever you should call it, carrots with grooves. I hate those carrots, they are soo tasteless and spongy. At least those that were frozen before they were boiled, or even worse heated in the micro oven. 

Anyway, this is how the story continues, until the end, when the main character is back where he begun. But there is some kind of hope in the last scene.. To end this, I really liked his neighbour, he was funny and looked like a guy who loves life. 

..I'm talking about things that I'd better stay quiet about. But what in hell does the same thing happen over and over again? I mean first I was angry because I was sad because things didn't turn out as I expected them to. But now after this has happened several times, I have written about this at least times, I guess I must be doing something, or not doing something that makes this happen over and over again. It's always the same. I think I have started to understand now what this happens. Maybe because I expect things that I know wont happen.

At the same time I'm doubtful, because it doesn't feel right either. It feels like is everyone always is saying no, or change their mind in the last minute, or call and say "something else came between". But why is always something happening? And why do they expect me to say yes and wait? I'm not talking about one person more like a couple or three persons I know. And maybe two more.. I'll give you an example. Last month I wanted to go to IKEA, so I just talked about it with my mom, and she said "We can go together.." So I said yes that is a great idea because I don't want to go alone. So I call my sister and ask her if she wants to come with us and she says yes, So we set a date (Tuseday before lunch). Monday evening I call my sister and ask her if I should pick her up, then she says "I have to stay at home and do my homework".. So when has she started to care about that. So I call my mom and she says, no something else came between, but let's go on Wednesday instead. So on Wednesday I call her, but then she says "We have to go on Friday instead because I don't have time". On friday my sister calls my mom and after that she calls me and asks me where I am.. I started thinking.. What? So she says "Mom is wating for you" When did she tell me that.? So we go to IKEA but it's late and we have to hurry because the close early. But if I say I can't or I don't have time it feels like they become really angry. I feel like just saying no because because.. and not because I'm busy. But I know I would feel really bad after that so I never do that..This is just stupid, and this makes me tired. I'm just fed up with it. I guess I'm not the only one, or I know that. Now I just want to find some kind of solution..

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SNOW

Ufo frog

Hair

Purple

I thought it was a while since I took some photos of myself. Some people say it's egoistic, but I think it's kind of fun.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

I'm thankful for so much. We don't even celebrate Thanksgiving. That I live on my own and not with my parents, that I have a job until Christmas (even though I don't like it), that I have a car, that I know people who care, that I know that because of some of them I will have it even better next year at this time because that is what I have decided - and they have to be patient because I can be a pain in the a** sometimes. I'm thankful because I have an education, that I'm in school and that I don't have to pay for the education, that I live in Sweden, that I'm healthy and ten thousand other things. I think I have to see what I wrote last year..

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My gosh it was such long time since I added photos. iI have to be better on taking photos more often. Before I did I guess I haven't had time to do that now. But things are about to change, that is good. I have moved around the furniture in my apartment so now I feel "at home" feels good. The video is kind of crappy so there is two photos too as you can see..

I feel so different, like everything before "now" is soo awkward that I dont even want to think about it. I realize I look different too. My hair is so long that 'I almost have to have it cut, and it's darker too, besides that I really have to do something about it because.. hahah! I could look better..I won't even show you

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I saw a ferris wheel, I love them. And then I bought a new skirt on H&M 149kr, really cheap. What did I do next? The company for which I work for had "forgot" tp pay my salary, wasn't the first time. Since Christmas is in this month I don't work as much as I have done, that means less money. I realized that I had no money at all, because I had to buy contact lenses and then I had to go to the dentist, and fix my car so I had to take a loan (studie lån). That is possible because I study and you can do that to finance your studied, the interest charge is not high at all, and like 99.9% of all students take this loan. I just haven't done that because I was working, but that almost takes too much energy I mean to go to school during the days and work in the evenings. Or maybe I should say I have realized that now. My job wasn't even well paid 3300kr/month that is like 100kr/hour = 14,5 $ or 480$/month - You can't live on that.

..haha! by the way, something must be wrong with that mirror (was a cheap one), I look slim..

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I found this "hand" that I got from my sister.. I think it was last year. I kind of like it. When I was at my grandma's last week she asked my dad and me if we couldn't go down in the basement to check if it smelled like bad in there (she is selling her house and wanted to know, and didn't dare to go down there herself), and so we did. My god! we went through that hole, that was like insane. Haha! Looks like a dungeon!

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 And to end this I REALLY like this candy, like the color and the taste. I try not to think of what it's made of..:)

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500-days-of-summer

Ok, so I watched this movie (500 days of summer). Not exactely the best movie I have ever seen, but it was kind of good anyway. I liek happy endings and in some way this movie has one, but it's kind of a gray movie, and I don't like that. I know the color serves a meaning. It's like watching Twilight (I DON'T like that movie) I mean it's like walking in the rain on a really cloudy day. Maybe it depends on your mood if you like it or not.

Anyway, this girl summer really made me angry in some weird way, and that guy too, I don't remember his name. I mean the first thing she says is that she doesn't want a serious lasting relationship, even though that is what he Want, he doesn't say it. Later she dumps him, or course, and he is devastated. But what did he think? That must be something that leads many relationships to an end - When a couple doesn't want the same thing and aren't really willing to discuss it either. Of course she found another guy and they got married (the not-good-type of guy if you see to (I still don't remember his name)'s opinion on it.

The funny thing is how the movie ends. He decides to get a job at some kind of arcitecht place and there he meets this girl (before that he has met summer and she tells him something like: "One day I woke up and realized that he had what I missed in you" and that you can't really choose who you are going to marry and everything just happens by coincidens..what if I hadn't been there just then, and what if I hadn't done that, it felt like it was coincidence and it felt very right). Then the narrator of the story says something like:

"You can’t describe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence, that’s all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence. There are no miracles. There is no such thing as fate. Nothing is meant to be."

I mean that is a pretty good line. It's so easy to think that everything is planned and that you don't have the power to change things and in some way make life what you want it to be. I could go on forever and complain about the words used in this quote, but I won't. Complaining too much is never good for you.

By the way, I really like that picture from the movie, I so want it to be summer now, please coincidence where are you?

“The truth isn’t the truth until people believe you, and they can’t believe you if they don’t know what you’re

saying, and they can’t know what you’re saying if they don’t listen to you, and they

won’t listen to you if you’re not interesting unless you say things imaginatively,

originally, freshly” (William Bernbach)