It feels like everyone is making fuss over the chores on work now. It started las Wednesday when three girls that only works during the summer worked together (Substitutes, I'm one too). They were fussing over when was going to do what and vice versa. Today, the same thing, but maybe it was my problem. One of the girls came this morning looking very tired and I was No, because then you know that you have to do extra work during the day. That put me in a bad mood. We had two showers and two cleanings today, and there is a man I don't wanna help because he wants to put his hands everywhere, if you understand..So I asked if I could do something else instead..Then after a while (I started working at 6.45 and my day ended at 15.45) she started complaining that she hadn't slept and that she couldn't do all her chores since she was so tired. And then she started arguing with the other girl, and I was so angry that I told this other one what I felt and then I became conscience of my guilt and everything became weird and stupid and fussy!
We had planned to go to Halmstad this evening to dine out, but we canceled it since the other two was arguing. We are maybe planning something next week, I guess we have to wait and see.
The stupid thing about it is that it's really taking your energy to argue. On my way home from work I met a friend that i really like, but I was so tired and in such a bad mood that I just said hi and walked through the door, up the stairs and through myself on my bed. I felt sooo nasty. I had to send her a text later and explain, because this is not how I usually behave! That is for sure. I'm working tomorrow too, so I hope things will be better then.
So now I'm trying to be positive, I think that I'll take a walk in my new Nike running shoes! Maybe try to write and after that go to bed and sleep very well since I'm starting to work at 8.00 tomorrow. There is still something missing that i can't understand what it is, but maybe I'll ind out soon. Bad mood usually brings something good too..
Do you remember your dreams?
Yes I do, sometimes I wish I didn't because when I dream a lot I don't sleep well, which means that I can sleep for hours but still I'm as tired as I was before I went to bed. But I think that reflecting on what your dreams are about is good for you, sometimes your brain knows things that you don't and dreams might be a way to tell you that..
Something is missing, but what?
I went to the doctor last week (A nose, throat and ear specialist). I had waited since October last year, can't believe that you have to wait so long for an appointment. Anyway, I wanted to know why my ears are sore, like all the time, and as you might understand has this bothered me a lot since I have waited for about a year now. I can't hear as I did before and then there is this clicking sound. I really want to thank that specialist, guess what he said? All the other doctors were wrong, it's not the ears, its my jaw or the joint of the jaw. That sucks too! So he just told me to see my dentist, everyone knows how cheap, not! that is.. I went there today and the said it's your jaw, which means that the doctor was right, I hope. So now I have to do some kind of training program every day for a month, after that I should see them again and then we have to see what to do next. I hope the pain will disappear because I don't want to buy a ..I just know the Swedish word for it and that is bettskena, a thing you wear during the night to relax your jaw.. I have to look it up in a dictionary..
I'm working tomorrow, not very funny, but i have to. Actually I applied for a course on the university in Halmstad, so now I just hope that there is a place left.. If I don't get a full time job or a job that is 50% of full time I have to do something. So now I'm just waiting and it really feels like something is missing, like I have forgot something, but what might that be?
My Dad had his birthday yesterday so i made a cake - A pavlova, I really like the taste of lemon curd, excellent combination with the meringue and the whipped cream..After the party I went to my cousin to help her with her computer, Natalie and Albin had got a kitten so cute, we tried to take a photo but it wasn't still for a second. I don't think I know a person who cares so much about animals as she does..
Today my mom, my sister and I went to Varberg, we were shopping and I had to run up all the stairs in the parking house just to take some photos from above.. I can't understand that it was more then three years now since I went to the school there, it feels like 10 years, at least! I have done so much since then..
My sister and her boyfriend had picked "kantareller" so many that I couldn't beleive it! :)
How many times a month do you eat out in a restaurant? Do you wish you dined out more or less?
Not even once in a month. I mean some people count Mc Donald's as a restaurant, but hey! Maybe if your name is Old Mc Donald :). A pizzeria isn't a resturant either, I don't think so. Usually I eat in a resturant when I am away somewhere, like vacation, that isn't very often. So I think that I can say that I eat in a resturant like four times in a year, sometimes three. That is NOT much, I wish I had more money so I could dine out more often then I do. But if I had liked it more I think that I would do it more, I hate waiting for the food and prefer a good home cooked meal in a good company. But actually this Friday a couple of girls from my job and I are going to a resturant in Halmstad, but we haven't decided where yet.. to be continued.
If you could only eat ONE cereal for the rest of your life, which one would you pick?
Weetabix, tasty and is good for you. I like that..
What haven't you said that you wanted to today?
Lots of things even though it's just 11:17AM. I had the strangest dream last night, I really wanted to know what it might mean so I asked on yahoo answers..:
I was in a church, pretty big one, that was on "my old" school yard (strange) it was some kind of market inside and they were selling hand made stuff. I went in there and tested on a couple of coats and looked on some ornaments. Later before I went away with my family I stole a coat and an ornament, the ornament looked like a rhino and was really heavy so my cousin had to help me carry it.
Later I showed the things to everyone and told me I had paid for it, they (I didn't have any money and the things were very expensive). The day after, I felt really bad because I met the woman who had sold the stuff, I asked her if i could return the things but was so afraid that she would remember that I hadn't paid that I went back to the church to confess to some kind of confessor. But just when I was about to tell him about what I had done, a concert started in the church and the confessor said he wanted to listen to the music..I just put the stolen things in a plastic bag and left them outside the church. I felt really bad about it..It's like i still feel ashamed..
This was what I dreamed..And this is what people have answered so far:
In dreams, your feelings and emotions are the most important elements. Since you felt ashamed, then this dream is about doing something shameful that you regret. You want to change it or make it up somehow, but you can't either because it's too late or you're afraid people won't let you. Since you secretly tried to return the items, I'm assuming that you did something shameful or bad that other people do not know. You want to confess, but you're afraid people won't listen or believe you. The fact that you dreamed of a church is further evidence that you've done something bad or shameful. We usually associate God with forgiveness and punishment. In your case, you feel guilty and want forgiveness from others, but you're afraid they won't forgive you.
Also, your cousin. Because he assisted you with the rhino in your dream, your cousin was either also part of ashamed deed of yours OR you feel that your cousin is someone you can turn to for support/help. Meeting that woman symbolized an opportunity for you to make this all right, but you grew scared and backed out for the reasons I mentioned above.
AND
In reality you know you must pay for things, so you dream of getting without payment and your subconscious if asking you if you feel guilty about this (the church).
AND
That you are ashamed.
I mean I think I know that I have a few confessions to make, hahahaha! My subconscious watns to tell me something..
Do you believe in ghosts?
Actually I think I do. I don't wanna believe, but somehow it feels like ghosts (or whatever it is) do exist, because of things that happen but that you can't explain. I mean if you have seen those tv-shows about gjost hunters, you must, even though I'm sceptival to almost everything that is viewn on tv..
i used this recipe, but wasn'r satisfied with the result so I made "frosting", (just made it up) tastes wonderful- I mixed icing sugar, strawberry syrup, butter, vanilla and some red color together until fluffy..
Another thing that I can't understand. Or maybe I do, but it's getting on my nerves.
Ok, there is someone, I won't mention any names.. I know that I will just feel worse after I have written this.. This is how things are. Someone is sending me maybe 10 texts, and about 3 or four e-mails, but when I reply someone is replying "I'm really busy right now, I can't reply,maybe tomorrow" The thing is I don't wanna know that, I don't care about if I get an answer the next day, the day after or the day after that, but you don't have to say that. And why write a a lot, and then when I write back 2 minutes later, a busy time has started and there is no chance to reply, or do those things, but there is time to write "I can't reply right now". The day after those things aren't still done, and not the things "of today either".
The day after you could be sure about that someone, is asking "I so wanna see you, can I come to your house so we can have a chat over a cup of tea. Tell me the days when you're not working". And then I give three examples of days, when I'm not working, buth there is always a drawback. Someone always find something else to do, that has to do with someone's mother or grandma, something like: My mother asked me to come with her when she is going shopping tomorrow, she is looking for some books. The thing is that this shopping thing has to be done three times a week, as with someone's grandma that is visiting each and every day, but then someone always has to be at home.
It's like we have to find that perfect day, but why? I mean I have like a full time job, while someone haven't even had more than one job that lasted for 2 months, and someone is older than me. That means that someone enjoys someone's free time, while someone has summer vacation. But I mean summer vacation is like 3 months. What is the problem getting a job? At least try to find a job! Move from home, get a life and grow into an own person, not a copy of someone's mother or continue with the same life that someone had when someone was 10 years old.
All this is partly because, someone can't talk on msn messenger or write e-mails when someone else is in the room. The thing that I find most annoying is that someone has started to make excuses for everything. This is how it works, we decide something a week before or two, because that is how long we have to plan in advance, because someone has a busy life and we have to find a perfect time, then someone's grandma asks someone to help her mow the lawn, at three o clock in the afternoon, this is done the day before we have decided. Then someone has to cancel everything, because someone can't say no to his grandma. The thing is that these things happen all the time to someone, and I don't want someone to say no, just don't tell me that someone has a sore throat and that is the reason to why. I don't need no explanations, I just appreciate when people are honest, and just don't tell all the things that you necessary don't wanna know. Because the day after we had decide you can be sure about that someone don't have a sore throat anymore..
These are my complaint for today...I have to concentrate on being more positive. I'm going to the hospital tomorrow, hope they can do something to my ears, I'm really tired of the constant pain, I really hope, I'm tired of waiting...
